[灌水]〖江城子〗 凤同凰
<p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-layout-grid-align: none;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ansi-language: ZH-CN;">〖江城子〗<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>凤同凰<p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-layout-grid-align: none;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ansi-language: ZH-CN;">一从别后懒梳妆,雨风凉,忘披裳。水远山长,无处诉衷肠。零落一阶红满路,雁声断,过西墙。<p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-layout-grid-align: none;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ansi-language: ZH-CN;">忽如明月照尘窗,卷帘忙,画眉慌。话语温良,还似旧时光。盟誓未忘休泪汪,许今后,凤同凰。<p></p></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="left" style="MARGIN: 0cm 0cm 0pt; TEXT-ALIGN: left; mso-layout-grid-align: none;"><span style="FONT-SIZE: 10pt; FONT-FAMILY: 宋体; mso-hansi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-family: 宋体; mso-font-kerning: 0pt; mso-ansi-language: ZH-CN;"><p> </p></span></p> <p>至画眉慌 都看的很有意思 画眉慌这三句 似乎把情绪染尽了 使最后5句感觉无味</p><p>不写诗词之人乱讲 水水勿怪</p> 多谢楼上,接受批评! 写的太直白了,米含蓄,自我批评,嘿。。。 长句重“气”,短句求“顿”!江城子词多短句,更要着重在每一“顿”的力度(肯定不是牛一般的蛮力),耐人寻味处就在这一“顿”“顿”中呢。随便说的,别当真~~
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